TEEN TRENDS - SELF-MUTILATION/SELF-INJURY

(This blog is written to inform parents & others of the disturbing trends of teenagers.).

Self-mutilation, also known as self-harm, self-injury, and cutting, has become an unhealthy coping mechanism used by teenagers to relieve pain rather than to cause pain. The act of self-mutilation is deliberate, repetitive harming of the body that has become a widespread epidemic. Even though self-mutilation is more prevalent in young females, it is estimated that two million people in the US harm themselves. They can be male or female, rich or poor. They are doctors, lawyers, teachers, and high school dropouts. Their ages range from 11 to 60 years of age.

WHY DOES A PERSON SELF-MUTILATE?

• First, you must understand that self-mutilation is NOT a suicide attempt.
• A person may self-mutilate to relieve mental pain, anger, fears, hurt, grief. extreme anxiety or tension.
• To end the feeling of numbness and to feel alive.
• Most cutters have a self-hate mindset. They see themselves as worthless, fat, ugly or stupid.
• Then there’s the “contagion factor” where teenagers hear about it from their friends. Teenagers also use online message boards to share and receive advice, and there are hundreds of web sites available on this topic.

SELF-MUTILATION TAKES ON MANY FORMS:

• Inflicting cuts with any type of sharp object.
• Constant scratching that draws blood.
• Picking at scabs so wounds can’t heal.
• Burning the skin on a regular basis with erasers and cigarettes.
• Pulling out hair, including eyelashes.
• Breaking bones or bruising the body.

SELF-MUTILATION CAN BE VERY HARD TO DETECT.
WARNING SIGNS TO WATCH FOR:

• Someone who self-mutilates is very private and spends a lot of time alone. They do not harm themselves in front of others.
• They are often hesitant to change clothes in front of other people.
• They wear long sleeves and long pants at all times to hide their scars.
• They have unexplained injuries, such as cuts, scratches, burns, and bruises.
• You can also expect mood changes.
• There is usually underlying depression.

WHAT DOES SELF-MUTILATION LOOK LIKE?

• Look for small, thin cuts in straight, parallel lines – almost like a cat scratch.
• Cuts are usually not deep enough to require stitches. They are very superficial.
• Sometimes they will cut words into themselves that describe how they are feeling at that moment (fat, stupid, etc.).
• Areas of the body that are usually harmed, include the arms, legs, inner thighs, under the breast, and bottom of the feet.

Over time, the cutting can worsen, occurring more often, with more cuts. It’s similar to a drug addict, after awhile it takes more cutting to get relief.

Because some self-mutilation pictures can be very graphic, I added a link instead of actual pictures, but please remember, SOME OF THESE PICTURES ARE VERY DISTURBING. (Click pictures once on the web page) http://www.psyke.org/articles/en/selfmutilation

There are quite a few myths about self-mutilation; one being “people use self-mutilation just to get attention”. This is not the case. People who self-mutilate go to great lengths to hide their scars. Most consider self-mutilation a shameful secret.
MY STORYI became familiar with self-mutilation when my daughter, Hollie, started cutting at the age of 13. She used cutting as a release for all the pain she had experienced in the past (see my post on Emotional Abuse). When I first noticed cuts on Hollie's arms, she said the cat scratched her. I thought that was odd, but I didn't know any different. Then I noticed more cuts on her legs, and when she said the cat scratched her, I knew something was up. After a long talk, she admitted cutting herself. This was all very new to me.  This is what I learned:

• Hollie would use broken glass or broken mirrors to cut herself with.
• She would break open disposable razors or pencil sharpeners to get to the blade.
• If there were no other sharp objects around, she would break one of her CD’s.

Although Hollie didn’t cut herself on a daily basis, it became a daily routine for me to make sure there wasn’t anything in the house she could cut herself with. I threw out all sharp objects. I would no longer allow pencil sharpeners, disposable razors, compact mirrors or scissors to be brought into the house. I threw out all the sharp knives except one, which I kept hidden (even though knives are rarely used in cutting). I would do a weekly search of her room. (She knew I did this. I would never sneak around.) This would be a long process, because the razors are small, and she would hide them in the pockets of her clothes, in her shoes, cuts in her mattress; something as small as a razor can be hidden almost anywhere. I don’t remember exactly how many years Hollie was a cutter. I did put her in rehab, but medication and therapy didn’t seem to work for her. It took a lot of prayers and a very committed youth minister, who let her call him at anytime, day or night, to finally pull her out of this darkness. Now she wants to be a youth minister, so she can help other teenagers who are in this situation.

Even though there is no specific medication to treat self-mutilation, antidepressants are often prescribed, along with intense outpatient/inpatient treatment with a qualified therapist who specializes in self-mutilation, and new coping skills need to be learned. In the end, just like any addict, they have to want to stop before they can get better, and they will not “outgrow it”. It is not “just a phase”. It is an illness.

I have been told that "once a cutter, always a cutter". I think what this means is the "urge" to cut is always there. Even though it has been over two years since Hollie has cut herself, I still keep the sharp objects out of the house. And when I notice that she is stressed or upset, I try to talk her through it to help her fight that "urge" that she says she does still have.
This behavior can be very disturbing and difficult to understand, but as parents you should not let your discomfort cause you to issue ultimatums or punish self-harming behavior, and don't act out in anger. There is help and hope for your teen, but it will take a lot of patience and understanding on the part of the parent.