Friday, November 20, 2009

TEEN TRENDS: "HOOKING UP"


(This blog is written to inform parents and others of disturbing trends of teenagers.)


WARNING: This post contains explicit language, but it's what parents need to know.
"Hooking up" used to mean meeting up with friends and just hanging out. Today, teens use the phrase "hooking up" to mean anything from kissing to oral sex to intercourse. But just because they're "hooking up", it doesn't mean they're dating. Teens are "hooking up" with friends and strangers, in groups and in public.


"HOOKING UP" CAN INCLUDE:

  • Kissing
  • Rubbing & touching, with or without clothes
  • Oral sex
  • Fingering
  • At the college level, hooking up can include vaginal and anal sex
FACTS:
  • Teens report that oral sex and fingering were "no big deal".
  • Today, first base is kissing, plus fondling. Second base is oral sex, and third base is going all the way.
  • Heavy petting and oral sex starts as early as 12 years of age.
  • Average age for a first kiss is 13.
  • Average age of having sex for the first time is 15.
  • 27% of 13 to 16 year-olds are sexually active.
  • Results of a SADD Teen Today study indicates that 14.3% of girls who had sex at an early age had attempted suicide compared to 5.1% of virgins. For boys, 6% who had sex at an early age attempted suicide.
  • Hooking up—if done without protection—can lead to unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.
A RECENT SURVEY IN TEEN VOGUE REVEALED THE FOLLOWING:
- What counts as "hooking up"?
  • Kissing - 79.3%
  • Touching - 53.4%
  • Oral Sex - 46.2%
  • Sex - 47.2%
  • Other - 11.9%
- How many people have you "hooked up" with?
  • 1 - 3 - 60.7%
  • 3 - 5 - 14.6%
  • 5 - 7 - 8.7%
  • 7 -10 - 5.9%
  • 10+ - 10%
- Does oral sex count as sex?
  • Yes - 44.6%
  • No - 55.4%
- Have your parents talked to you about sex/hooking up?
  • Yes - 63.6%
  • No - 36.4%
- If so, did you find their talk to be effective/useful?
  • Yes - 57.6%
  • No - 42.4%
- If you don't have an exclusive partner, how many people do you think it's OK to hook up with at the same time?
  • 2 - 74.6%
  • 3 - 16.0%
  • 4 - 2.1%
  • 5+ - 7.3%
TEEN SEX GLOSSARY:
  • BOOTY CALL - An early morning or late night call to make a sex date that involves no relationship or emotional attachment.
  • DIRTY - A girl who has an STD. (There is no slang for a boy with an STD.)
  • FRIENDS, WITH BENEFITS - A sexual relationship between platonic friends.
  • HIGH FIVE (HIGH V) - A person who is HIV positive.
  • HOOVER - To have an abortion.
  • PEARL NECKLACE - When a boy ejaculates around his partners neck and throat.
  • RAINBOW PARTIES - Parties where several girls wear different colored lipstick and perform oral sex on boys that leaves a rainbow of color on his penis.
SOME GOOD NEWS:
  • 87% of teens aged 13 to 16 have not had sexual intercourse.
  • 73% have not been sexually intimate at all.
  • 75% have not had sex because they believe they are too young.
  • 74% fear getting pregnant.
  • 71% fear getting an STD.
  • 65% fear parents’ reaction.
  • 4 in 10 (42%) say they have not had sex because of religious or moral beliefs.
WHAT PARENTS CAN DO:
  • Parents need to start talking to their children before they hit the preteen/teen years when they learn about sex from TV and friends.
  • It will take a more indepth conversation than the traditional "the birds and the bees" sex talk.
  • Know what your teens are doing - who they are emailing, IMing, and hanging out with. Get in their business.
  • When you watch TV or a movie together, use any sexual scene as a way to start a conversation about sex.
  • Let your beliefs about sex be known.
According to Teens Today, teens who talk openly with their parents are more likely to report their parents influenced their decisions about sexual activity...so have that talk TODAY!


http://www.msnbc.comn/
http://www.teenvogue.com/



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30 comments:

Amethyst Moon said...

I was recently talking to my teens when I learned about the change in the baseball terms, and was totally surprised. And now Making out is not just kissing, but is also fondling. Kids are definitely moving too fast!

Sandy said...

No teens in the house but I've heard about this from friends with teens. It's pretty hard to believe and apparently just as difficult to stop.

Thanks for writing an informative post.

BTW Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

Feeling Fit With Dana said...

My boys are grown and have moved out of the house, but this is a great post. Many parents don't know what the terms mean and what is truly going on. The best advice I can give after raising 3 boys is to talk, talk and talk more. They do listen!

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Michele said...

My formerly homeschooled teens have been coming home and reporting with disgust how many people talk about/do with and don't think anything of it. My oldest found some great friends, but in the beginning she lamented that she couldn't find anyone that thought sexual activity at a young age was wrong. It's really sad that it's like this out there.

Sweetly Sweet said...

Thanks again for a well done report! Thanks to you I will be a pro when my baby is 10 (in 8 more years)!

Sweetly Sweet

Eva Gallant said...

An excellent post! I have two grown sons, and I say, too, the key is to talk, talk, talk. Also, know who they are seeing and what they are doing.

Just stopped by from SITS to say hi again. Hope you will do the same.

Shell said...

I'm frightened as to what will be considered socially acceptable behavior by teens by the time that my boys are teens. Scary stuff!

Tammy Howard said...

Thanks for an informative post.

XCortFiles said...

It's scary but still there had been some positive percentage too. Some are still afraid to do it.

alessandra said...

As a mother of a pre-teen I prefer the good news, argh!

Angry Julie Monday said...

This information completely freaks me out. My son is only 4 and I think about this. It's crazy on what teen sex has evolved into now. I was such a boring teenager. But I think we need to educate our children to prevent them from being another statistic.

Stopping by from SITS! Hope you have a great Saturday.

Christy said...

stopping by from sits...
this post is tragic. I don't have kids of my own but I have 9 nieces and nephews. they think I am so square because I have convo's about this with them. Maybe I am square because i actually used the term square!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

Angelia said...

This is really great info!! I wish it was more open to talk about when I was growing up. I am going to show this to my teen. We are very open to communicating. Thank you!

Lucy postpartumillness.com said...

O my gosh you are freakin me out but keep the info coming. My brothers girls had an issue at school where kids were suspended for plaing the lipstick game on the bus. The boys talked the girls into seeing who could leave a lipstick ring the farthest down. I was stunned when I heard this. It happened on a school bus. The kids were all in middle school or younger.

Michelle said...

WOW. Pearl necklace? In what universe does a girl think this is fun????

thanks for this PSA.

eyeglasses said...

Wow, things have changed since I was in high school. My nephew started talking to me about sex and I was FLOORED! Kids are too young! I think I'll go put my granny eyeglasses back on and go watch reruns of Matlock or something... times were better back then.

However, I will say this - if you have an open relationship with your teen where they feel they can tell you anything without being judged or yelled at - they WILL make the right decision. This is how it is with my sister and her son - he tells her everything. I hope to be that great of a mom someday. Just food for thought...

A Mom After God's Own Heart said...

Wow, what an eye opening blog post! Thank you for making parents of kids of all ages aware of what is going on in the lives of teens these days. My daughters are only 3 and 16 months but its so good to be aware of what is out there for my girls in only a few short years, and I know things will be different then, but knowledge is power. Thank you:)

Sara said...

I dont haev any teens, but I read this cause I have a teen brother.
I had no idea, about all the terms, Thank you so much for sharing

lemonologie said...

Scary, scary stuff. Excuse me while I go lock my daughter in the house for the next 30 years.

Thanks for your visit on my SITS day. Sorry it has taken me so long to return the visit - I've been sick.

Mommyof2girlz said...

OMG my heart just sank. Have times changed that much? Am I that old? Aghh not looking forward to my little princesses becoming teenagers. Awesome post. Thanks for stopping by today :)

JustLikeJune said...

This is so sad. The whole "sexting" thing scares me too. It just makes me sad that kids don't have respect for themselves. :-( This is a great, informative post, even if it is terrifying to come to grips with.

Mhar's Display said...

It is still best to have conservative teens. being aware of the consequences is important. If they care about their future, they should wait til they are responsible and ready.

Mharms

April said...

Hi!
I'm visiting from SITS! Nice to "meet" you! I'm the mother of two teen girls (13 aND 17). This stuff scares me to death, but I'm thankful that I have a very open and honest relationship with them both. I pray I can help keep them on the straight and narrow path.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Even when I was a teen, about 20 years ago, hooking up meant more than just hanging out. But wow, I am surprised about such a change in the terms. I guess they think they'll confuse parents even more.

Thanks for your visit at some point. I have been slow to getting back around. Happy Holidays!!

Olah Momma! said...

Oh my goodness! I came from a culture where premarital sex is a taboo, where men desire a virgin wife or it will bring an issue to a woman's fidelity in their married life. I know it sounds not fair. But I hope I could convince my daughter the benefit of not having premarital sex. Great post!

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Anonymous said...

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Luschka said...

Awesome post. I made a decision years before even thinking about having a child that I would always be open and honest about sex, menstruation and anything else she asked about. Your post confirms it. After all, if she can't talk to me, whoever she does talk to might not care about her as much as I do.

Luschka said...

Me again - just thought - I find it really sad that girls have such low self respect that they would even get involved in some of the things you mentioned. Its indicative of a very sad state of affairs. I hope we can teach our daughter how very much she means to God and to us, and that that will give her self respect.

Captain.Savage said...

When I read "Get in there business" I burst out laughing. I'm 19 and if my mom EVER tried to quote "get in my business" I'd either lie or ignore her. I don't want anyone reading this to think I'm a brat because I'm far from it.

I see it with my younger friends but more importantly with my little brother who's 17. When he started going out with a girl he'd tell me where he was going and all that but if my mom asked he'd say he was either going to a friends house to play xbox or just hang out in town with the boys.

My brother and I are very close and he has told me that he is still a virgin (as am I). I think parents should have more faith in their kids. Well maybe things are different here in Ireland compared to America but on my final note, just think about this.

In America, kids can drive when 16 and drink/smoke legally when 21 where-as in Ireland EVERYTHING is legal at 18, driving/drinking/smoking/getting into clubs. Just remember in clubs you'll find an average age range of 18-28. I think sex is not the only thing to be worried about - alcohol and drugs are just as big a problem!!

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