TEEN TRENDS: GO AHEAD...TALK TO YOUR TEENAGER!

I hadn't realized that it has been almost a month since I last posted, but...what can I say?  Since my mother passed away, I haven't been excited about doing anything.  I did graduate on April 27...finally!!  I also have a job as a special education teacher starting August 1.

 

I decided to bring one of my older posts to the front line, because it is so important that parents talk to their teens (and I mean more than just a couple of minutes of asking "how was school today?")  If you still have little ones at home, I give tips on starting to talk to your child early. 

 

I promise I will start to work on other articles to post real soon :)

Talking with your teenager is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.  But, the thought of talking to their teen about sex, drugs, etc. sends some parents into hiding, leaving their teen to figure out these life situations on their own, which means they will more than likely look for answers elsewhere.  But, I'm here to tell you that you can talk to your teen about these issues, plus many more, and survive.

IMPORTANT TOPICS:

• Cigarettes
• Alcohol
• Drugs
• Premarital sex
• Abstinence
• Safe sex
• Pregnancy
• STD's
• Cheating
• Bullying
• Racism/discrimination
• Dating violence

TIPS:

- Start talking to your child when they are young.
       I started talking to my girls when they were around 3 or 4. I first started talking
       about cigarettes, because they are everywhere - TV, movies, out in public (age
       appropriate talk of course).  As they got older, I started talking about alcohol and
       then drugs.  The older they got, the more I talked.  (Of course, if you didn't start
       talking  to your teen when he/she was young, it is still never too late to start.)
- *"It's better...too much, too soon than too little, too late."
- If you start talking to your child about these issues when they are young, when they become
       teenagers and have questions, it will be second nature for them to come to you.
- Start talking (and demonstrating) to your child about your values, so they grow up knowing
       what you believe and what you expect.
- Ask questions.
       I know "who, what, when, where, why, and for how long" before my girls walk out the
       door.  (Hollie turned 20 in January, and I still ask her these questions.)
- Don't have one big talk, but have lots of small talks...while driving in the car, eating dinner,
       when you're out shopping. If you look for opportunities to talk to your teen, you'll find
       them.  Just be there. Your teen wants your guidance (even though they may not come
       right out and ask for it).  I even have little talks with my daughter's friends, because, it's
       sad to say, but their parents don't talk to them and they have questions.
- One of the most important things to remember is that no matter what you teen tells you or
       how bad the situation is, you cannot yell, cuss or freak out or your teen won't come
       to you again.  Hollie would usually come to me when I was watching a Lifetime Movie,
       and she would say, "momma, I did something I wasn't suppose to do", and I'd be
       thinking "Oh God".  I never knew what she was going to tell me.  Or she would write
       me a letter after I went to bed and leave it on my bathroom counter for me to see
       when I got up.  When I would see that piece of paper on my counter, I would first
       say a little prayer.  Now, April (who is 14) has started leaving me notes on my
       bathroom counter.  (But she is usually apologizing for being sassy.)  Hollie talks to
       her all the time about these teen issues, which has been very helpful.
- It is usually best to wait until the next day to talk to your teen about the situation,
       especially if it's bad.  This gives you time to calm down and think about what needs
       to be done.  Just calmly tell your teen, "we'll talk about this tomorrow", and always
       tell your teen that you love him/her no matter how upset you are.
- As I've said in an earlier post, when talking to your teen, that old saying "do as I say
       and not as I do" won't work.  Believe it or not, you are your teen's biggest role
       model.
- But, if you are talking to your teen, and he/she asks if you ever smoked pot, etc. and
       you did, don't lie and say you didn't.  Your teen needs you to be honest with them, and
       your smoking pot is not going to make your teen want to go out and do it.  Explain the
       negative effects it had on you, and explain why your teen shouldn't smoke, etc.  Just
       don't lie.
- According to About.com, "because I said so" actually works when you are being pulled
       into a power struggle in a discipline situation.  You are the parent, and you have the
       final word.  But it is best if you explain your reasoning whenever possible.
- And please, be careful how you talk to your teen. Don't try to hurt or humiliate your teen.
       Hollie's dad thought calling her "fat" would make her want to lose weight or calling her
       "stupid" would make her want to study more. Talking to your teen like this will destroy
       him/her.  Hollie has had so many problems because of this abuse.  (See my post on
       Emotional Abuse.)  And as my mother always told me, "if you can't say anything nice,
       don't say anything at all".  Just walk away.
- During these conversations with your teen, be prepared for your teen to laugh  at you or
       think you're lame.  That's okay.  My girls laugh at me all the time (not in a
       disrespectful way), but the language has changed so much over the years. 
- *Look for clues that your teen needs to talk.  He/she will give hints, without coming right
       out and saying, "let's talk".

      

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO YOUR TEEN:

• "You're too young to understand."
• "If you say that again, I'll...."
• "I don't care what your friends are doing."
• "Don't come to me if you mess up."

Of course, a big part of talking to your teen is knowing how to listen.

TIPS ON LISTENING:

- Stop what you are doing and give your full attention. 

- Look at your teen while talking.

- Don't judge, just listen.
- Sometimes all your teen needs is for you to listen.

Always make sure that your teen knows that  you will love him/her no matter what they do and that they can come to you at any time.

And again, please remember I am no expert.  These are just things I did as my girls were growing up, and while I'm sure they don't tell me everything, they know they can talk to me about anything.  But I must admit, sometimes they tell me things I really did not want to know.

*www.aish.com

*www.parentingteens.suite101.com

YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU THINK!

I know I have neglected my blog, and I apologize, but I graduate April 27!!!  And I have a job interview, with the special education director of a local school district!!!

In the past, I have promoted Dove.  I love how Dove instills in girls that there is more to a girl than just her looks.  As  women, we tend to be critical of how we look (at least I know I do).  Our teenage daughters are especially critical of themselves, comparing their looks and body to those of TV stars and models.  

Well, Dove did it again.  In the video below, two people describe the same person.  The difference between the two descriptions is remarkable.

I think every mother should sit down with her tween/teen daughter (or even her son) and watch this video together.

How do you see yourself?   How do you think others see you?

Take A "Peep" Into The Past

Who remembers loving marshmallows as a child?  Okay! I'll admit I still LOVE those marshmallow peeps.  So in honor of the "Peep" (and Easter), here are a few facts about Peeps:

• Marshmallow Peeps are 59 years old this year (2013).
• In 1953, it took 27 hours to create one peep.  Today, it takes six minutes.
• This Easter, more than 700 million peeps chicks, bunnies, and eggs with be consumed b y men, women, and children throughout the United States and abroad.
• Strange things people like to do with peeps: eat them stale, microwave them, freeze them, roast them, and use them as pizza topping.
• Peeps come in five colors: yellow, pink, lavender, blue, and white.
• Each peep has 32 calories (160 calories per five-chick serving) and 0 grams of fat.
• The first Peeps were squeezed one at a time out of a pastry tube and the eyes were painted on by hand.  Now, machines create 3,500 Peeps' eyes per minute.
• Yellow Peeps are the most popular, followed by pink, lavender, blue, and then white.
• During Easter, Peeps outsell jelly beans.
• Just Born's Bethlehem, PA factory makes more than 1 billion Peeps a year - that's 4 million Peeps a day.

Visit the peeps official website for delicious recipes for those leftover peeps.

 

And I hope everyone has a great Easter full of Peeps!

 

 

MINUTE - READY TO SERVE (RICE)

I have a very picky eater in my house; a beautiful, 17-year-old teenager. She has always been a picky eater, even as a baby.  Her diet mainly consists of chicken, french fries, mac & cheese, and pizza, with a burger every now and then. The only  vegetable she will eat is corn. 

 

While I also like chicken, french fries, mac & cheese, and pizza, there are other foods that I also enjoy.  The only problem is...I am a single mom, and although I have two girls, April (above) is the only one left at home.  Soooo, if I want to enjoy other food besides chicken, french fries, mac & cheese or pizza, I am left with a lot of leftovers, which usually end up in the refrigerator where they are soon forgotten.  And that poses a big problem, because it is such a waste, especially since money is tight. 

 

I love rice (April doesn't), and I discovered rice in a single serve container.  Last year, I came across Minute® Ready to Serve Rice.

 

Minute® Ready to Serve Rice comes in plain white, brown & wild rice, and chicken flavored. While all three are delicious (the chicken is a little salty for my taste), I prefer the plain white rice.  They also have Spanish rice, multi-grain rice, new jasmine rice, Italian rice, yellow rice, and pilaf rice mix, but I haven't tried all these varieties. 

Since my daughter only eats chicken, french fries, mac & cheese, and pizza, I usually serve Minute® Ready to Serve Rice with chicken.  Here is a picture of our supper tonight.

 

Yes, it is very simply and quick to fix.  I had rice, with butter.  April had french fries.  I usually prefer my rice with butter, but it is also good with gravy.

 

 

The best thing about Minute® Ready to Serve Rice is that it is fixed fast in the microwave (just  60 seconds), and it is a single serving, so no leftovers. 

 

Another way I like to eat Minute® Ready to Serve Rice is in the morning with butter and sugar...don't turn your nose up until you try it, because it tastes so good...warm rice, with butter and a little sugar...YUM!!

Minute® Ready to Serve Rice is a healthy and convenient option for the busy mom and working professional who wants more than your typical sandwich for lunch.

And while rice and chicken are so good together, I might have to try rice with french fries, mac & cheese, and pizza.

 

Minute® Ready to Serve Rice is an ideal portable solution for lunch or breakfast because you can eat it on the go, straight from the cup. In just 60 seconds, you have fully cooked rice for any meal or snack. You’ll never get bored with your lunch since there are 10 flavorful and wholesome varieties. If you’re looking for a healthy option, Minute® Ready to Serve Rice provides easy portion control since it’s conveniently packaged in two individual single-serve cups.

Visit http://www.minuterice.com/ for recipes, including Minute® Ready to Serve Stir it Up recipe ideas and more information about the Minute® Rice family of products.

 

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Minute® Ready to Serve Rice.

10 TELLTALE SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED



I know it has been quite awhile since I last posted, but I have been so busy with student teaching. And last Wednesday, my dear, sweet momma lost her battle with cancer, and honestly, I have not felt

like writing, but I don't want to neglect my blog and readers, so I have a guest post by NannyAgency.net.

Bullying has been in the headlines a lot lately, but would you know if your child was being bullied?  Chances are your child won't tell you if he/she is being bullied...maybe out of fear or embarrassment.  Below are ten telltale signs that your child is being bullied.

     "Bullying is a problem of epidemic proportions and can affect every aspect of a child’s life. While visibility around the issue has been raised, as the most severe cases make national news, there is still a prevailing idea that bullying is part of childhood and is only a sign of “kids being kids.” Parents of children who are frequently the butt of bullies’ jokes know that the problem is much more severe than mere child’s play. If you’re concerned that your child may be the target of schoolyard or cyber-bullying, here are some signs to be on the lookout for:

1. Withdrawal from Activities – Has your child lost interest in extracurricular activities he once enjoyed? This could be a sign that your child is being bullied. If he once loved his after-school clubs or teams and now actively avoids them, there could be harassment taking place that makes him reluctant to attend.
2. Eating and Sleeping Habit Changes – Noticeable changes in your child’s eating or sleeping patterns can indicate that he’s under some sort of stress, which could be the result of being targeted by bullies. He could have a lessened appetite because of the thoughts running through his mind of his tormentor. If he’s eating more at home than usual, it could mean that his lunch is being stolen. His sleeping habits could have changed because he now has nightmares about the person picking on him. There are a variety of potential causes for these changes, so they should be investigated.
3. Irritability – Being picked on can put anyone in a bad mood, so try to look for the root of increased irritability or a shortened temper after school. Bullies wear on a child’s self-esteem, and a child with low self-esteem can lash out from that added tension.
4. Avoiding School – The occasional faked stomachache is a common ploy to get out of school for a few hours of sleep or to miss a test he’s not prepared for, but regular attempts to get out of going to school may be a sign of a child who’s actively avoiding his tormentors.
5. Decrease in Grades – It’s difficult to concentrate on schoolwork and getting good grades when that mean kid in class keeps kicking your chair or making fun of you. Your child’s grades might be suffering, not due to indifference to school, but due to a bully constantly nagging.
6. Fidgeting – If your child used to sit still very well and for long periods of time, but now seems to fidget, it could be because of a bully. A physical bully may spur the “flight” half of the “fight or flight” instinct, causing them to be hyper-aware of their surroundings and always ready to bolt.
7. Unwilling to Discuss School – A child who avoids answering questions about his day or answers evasively could be hiding the fact that someone was picking on him. The part of the school day that has the longest impression on your child right now may be the fact that someone doesn’t like him or he’s being made fun of. It’s tough to remember the exciting parts of the day when your child’s thoughts are consumed by the torment of a classmate.
8. Acting Out – Increased aggression and violent outbursts can be an indicator of bullying, as kids who spend their days being harassed seek an outlet for their frustrations. Any sudden personality change should be cause for concern, but a turn in a more aggressive direction should be addressed immediately.
9. Being Mean to Younger Siblings – Is your child starting to pick on your other children? If so, he might have a bully he’s dealing with when you aren’t there. It’s natural to want to unload your burden onto someone else in the same way it was unloaded onto you. Your child could just need to get his anger out, but doesn’t know how to, so he resorts to doing the same thing to his younger siblings that is being done to him.
10. Unexplained Bruises or Injuries – Physical bullies do still exist. If your child comes home with bruises or injuries that are not linked to the regular rambunctiousness of a child, it’s time to get concerned. Yes, it’s possible that he fell down on the playground, but it’s also possible that he was pushed down by a bully and is scared to tell you about it.

     The shame and embarrassment that can accompany being bullied is often enough to keep kids quiet about their troubles, especially if they’re afraid that they’ll be subjected to retribution for tattling. Be patient with your child and let him know that you’re on his side, and that you’ll find a solution to the problem together."

 

 

I'm not sure if you watch America's Got Talent, but in 2010, there was a sister duo, Christina and Alli, who both had cystic fibrosis.  They made the finalists, but didn't win.  They wrote an anti-bullying song that should be shared.  It is called The Same Way.

 

 

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS READY FOR A CELL PHONE

I am back to student teaching.  I am teaching 2nd graders until March.  I have asked several of the students what they got for Christmas, and over half of the students I asked said they got an iPhone...an iPhone!!  I don't even have an iPhone, which brings up the question, "when is a child really ready for a cell phone. 

According to the Pew Internet Project, over 50% of children 12 and under now own a cell phone. That’s up from 18% in 2004, great, but how do you know when your child is ready for one? Is it at a certain age, or is every child different? What are the signs to look for? Below are ten ways to know that your child is ready for their first cell phone, recommended by PhoneTVInternet.com:

1. Middle School – Typically, children start to want a cell phone when they reach the middle school years. Anne Collier, co-director of ConnectSafely.org, says “Children become very social creatures around middle school.” Coincidently, children also start spending more time unsupervised at that age. So this is prime time for the first cell phone.
2. Supervision – As children grow up, supervision naturally decreases. While this teaches children responsibility, it can also be a stressful time for parents. Having a cell phone may be just the compromise you need.
3. Responsibility – You don’t want to give a cell phone to a child who is not responsible enough to use it correctly. Limits must be set on who can be called and when. What constitutes and emergency. How many texts can be sent and when texting is appropriate. The dangers of sexting and cyberbullying must be addressed before your child is set loose with a cell phone. “Every parent has to establish rules for technology use,” Collier says.
4. Self-control – Your child must be able to control themselves and follow the rules. If they can’t do simple tasks, like cleaning their rooms or taking out the trash, how do you expect them to follow your directions with cell phones? It takes a strong child to resist the lure of texting twenty-four seven.
5. Money – Your child knows what it means to save. They know not to go overboard. “The average kid sends and receives over 2,000 text messages a month,” Collier says. That can add up quickly at ten cents or more per text. Your best bet is to go with an unlimited texting plan, but if that isn’t feasible, make sure your child knows the importance of saving money. And a plan on how to pay you back if they go over their time.
6. Safety – Sure, it feels safer for your child to be able to contact you no matter where they are, but make sure they don’t give out their number like candy. Just like the internet, cell phones are another way a predator can get to your children without your knowledge.
7. Internet – Speaking of the internet, may cell phones come equipped with internet access, allowing your child to get online without your supervision. If you feel they aren’t responsible enough for that, simply turn it off. May phone companies offer family plans that allow limits or restrictions to be placed on certain lines.
8. Appropriate – Make sure your child knows when to have their cell phone on and when to turn it off, or at least silence it. Schools are notorious for taking away children’s cell phones when they go off in class, and those fines can add up quickly. Not to mention they should be listening, not texting, in class.
9. Polite – It’s not only in school that cell phones should be silenced. Church, funerals, weddings, and other events should be a cell-free zone. Make sure children know when it is okay to talk and text and when the phone should be put away.
10. Distraction – Cell phones can be a huge distraction. In school this annoys teachers, but on the street it could be fatal. Make sure children know to stop and get someplace safe before texting or talking. They should always be paying attention to what is around them and not the phone.

These are just ten simple ways to know if your child is ready for their first cell phone. In the end, it is your decision. Do you think your child is ready? Can they handle the responsibility and stay safe? Is your wallet ready for the next bill? If the answer to these questions is yes, then, by all means, give your kid a phone. Just make sure they are aware of the responsibilities that go along with it.

STOP DA VIOLENCE

This talented 9-year-old boy is much wiser than his years. We need to stop and listen to what our children are telling us.