Sunday, May 31, 2009

TEEN TRENDS - DATE RAPE


(This blog is written to inform parents and others of disturbing trends of teenagers.)

"Rape is an act of violence using sex as a weapon. It is an act used to control and dominate." But the rapist is not always a masked stranger.

Date rape is the most common form of rape and the least reported. Date rape is also a real danger for teenagers and young adults.

FACTS:

  • *In 2004, there were approximately 210,000 rapes, attempted rapes, and sexual assaults.
  • 44% were under the age of 18.
  • 80% knew their attacker.
  • 70% of all sexual assaults are date or acquaintance rape.
  • Unlike rape involving strangers, date rapists use psychological pressure or strength to force sex instead of weapons or threats of violence.

EFFECTS OF RAPE:
  • Date rape causes emotional harm, including feelings of guilt, depression, anger, distrust, shame, worthlessness, and trouble sleeping.
  • Victims are 6 times more likely to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder.
  • Victims are 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
  • Victims are 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
  • Victims are 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
  • Nightmares of the date rape can recur for months and years after the attack.


My daughter, Hollie, was a victim of date rape by her boyfriend, and this is what I learned:


MOMS:
  • Talk to your daughter about date rape. I talked to Hollie about sex all the time and how to keep safe from "strangers". I had heard of date rape, but I was thinking old men...not teenage boys.
  • Tell her to trust her instincts. If she is feeling uncomfortable with a person or situation - leave and don't be afraid to ask for help.
  • Tell her to stay in control; don't drink or do drugs.
  • Always make sure she has a cell phone and extra money in case she needs to get out of a bad situation.
  • Let her take a self defense class.
  • Use caution when going out with someone new - suggest double dating.
  • Stress to your daughter that it's her right to say NO to anything that makes her feel uncomfortable.
  • Warn her about date rape drugs - they have no color, no taste, no odor, and can be added to a drink without her knowing it. Teach her these precautions:


- Only drink from containers that you have opened.
- Don't drink from a punch bowl that can be spiked.
- Never accept an open drink from anyone, not even a friend.
- Never leave your drink unattended.
  • Stress to your daughter that if she is raped, it is very important that she tell you IMMEDIATELY even if the boy threatens her. (Hollie waited 3 days before saying anything, and by the time she told me, it was too late. We did go to the police, but there was no evidence - it would be her word against his. Four years later, she is still very angry. There has been no closure for her.) So this is very important.
WHAT ARE DATE RAPE DRUGS?
  • Rohyponol ("roofies", "roopies", "circles") - Works as a tranquilizer and causes muscle weakness, fatigue, slurred speech, loss of motor coordination and judgment, and amnesia that lasts up to 24-hours. They look like an aspirin - small, white, round - and are colorless and flavorless. When dissolved in liquid, it can take effect in 20 minutes or less.
  • GHB - Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate (Liquid X, salt water, scoop) - Causes drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, headaches, dizziness, coma, and death. The drug's most common form is a clear liquid, but can be a white grainy powder.
  • Ketamine Hydrochloride (Special K, Super K, KO) - A legal drug sold as a veterinary sedative that causes delirium, vivid hallucinations, confusion, slurred speech, delayed reaction time, amnesia, and coma. Looks like off-white powder.
MOMS RAISING SONS:
  • Teach your son to respect girls.
  • Teach your son what date rape is, and that nothing gives him the right to force sex. It does not make him cool or tough or macho. It just makes him a rapist, which is a crime that can land him in jail.
  • Talk to him about the effects of rape. Make him understand that when a girl is raped, she is traumatized for life.
  • Make it clear to him that nobody deserves to be raped; no matter how she acts or how she's dressed. She's not "asking for it".
  • Teach him that NO means NO.
  • If a girl says yes, then changes her mind and says NO, that means STOP.
If your daughter is a victim of date rape, get her medical attention, offer her comfort, and listen while she talks, but don't force her to talk about details, except for information the police need. She'll talk about it on her own time. Hollie wrote me a letter about three months later telling me everything that happened. It was a hard letter for me to read, but she was ready for me to know.


 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

*www.teenhelp.com






Digg!


16 comments:

Pam said...

Thanks for sharing this information. I have a teenage daughter and I am always worried about something like this happening.

Sarah Mae said...

Very good article!

I am so sorry that your ex abused the bible to justify sin...makes me so angry...

Write Moms said...

Very informative article. I saw your blog was mentioned on GoodHousekeeping.com. Good for you!

Cheers,
DeAnna

Mary at My New 30 said...

Hi Laura - stopping by from SITS to visit and say hello. Pretty profound blog you have going on here! Great information. Mom's pay attention to this - it's been going on since I was in my 20s and I'm sure it hasn't gotten anything but worse.

ParentingPink said...

Another wonderfully written article. I appreciate the way you tackle tough teen subjects to help other parents!

Melissa said...

Thanks for sharing this important information. It's a difficult but crucial topic to talk about.

Amie said...

Thank you for sharing thourough information about this disturbing trend.

visiting from SITS

Lil Ms Snarky said...

Visiting from sits. I was date raped & i'm glad you're passing this info on.

Bianca @ South Bay Rants n Raves said...

Wow..... thank you for sharing this information. It's heartbreaking that there are monsters out there that would do this....
visiting from SITS

Holly @ posypocket.blogspot said...

thanks for blogging about this topic, it's so important! we all know people that have been affected.

Stopping by from SITS! Happy Sharefest!

Rachael said...

Thanks for highlighting this issues, it's so important. Unfortunately a lot of girls don't even understand that they have been raped, and it still causes a lot of psychological pain.

LBDDiaries said...

Visiting from SITS & saw the title on this one - very powerful message, one I wish I'd learned before... mine wasn't a date, it was my soon-to-be-ex brother-in-law. 30 years later, I still wonder if there was anything I could have done to stop it. No there wasn't. Nothing. We are not the guilty one, they are.

iklan said...

Thanks for sharing this. I'm from Malaysia and first time heard about date rape drug "roofies" while watching "hangover 1". kind of worried because I have 4 teens little sister.

Laura said...

iklan,

You just need to make sure your teens and sister NEVER accept an open drink from anyone, even if it is a friend, since most of these drugs are colorless & tasteless & are slipped into someone's drink.

Thanks for visiting!

Worth-Waiting-For said...

Great post. Thank you for bring attention to this very important, but often overlooked, form of sexual assault. I'm sorry that this happened to your daughter. I hope that she is doing well now. Getting the support you need after something like this happens is half the battle, so I'm glad to hear that she has such a supportive family.

Renee said...

God Bless you for posting about these tough issues to talk about. I was a victim of date rape myself. It happened when I was 22 and just before my last semester in college. It was by the guy I was "seeing." I felt very much like it was my fault because we had sex before, but this time I just did not want it. I told him to stop but he did not. I felt so hopeless and weak and it really messed with my mind!!!

I did not tell anyone what happened for the longest time because I was supposed to be a good Catholic girl and was so afraid of what my parents (and God) would think of me having sex before I was married!

I had suffered from depression and anxiety. It came to surface 8 years later when my husband and I were struggling in our marriage. Our only way of getting through this was for me to explain what happened. I went for therapy, my husband and I both got counseling...and part of my healing was to tell my family and friends about this. I HAD to or it would forever cause me pain.

I am so thankful for my therapist and supportive husband...for without them, I probably would have ended up committing suicide or in a psychiatric center.

My hope is for others to see that if they are going through this or any other traumatic event, they will find help in your post and see mine and realize that they can't hide from trauma like this. It must be dealt with or it will cause them suffering.

Thank you again for this sounding board.
Sincerely,
Renee

Related Posts with Thumbnails