TO SNOOP OR NOT TO SNOOP?

Over the past few weeks, I have been writing about some of the dangerous trends teenagers are involved in. All this may have parents wondering, do I snoop or not?

I believe teenagers have a right to privacy. After all, this is a time when they are becoming more independent and starting to make decisions on their own. BUT…once your teen steps into that danger zone of drugs, cutting, alcohol…then they lose their right to privacy.

Whether you snoop or not is a tough decision only you can make. A lot will depend on the kind of relationship you have with your teen. Just remember, it’s your house. I told my daughter I would be searching her room from time to time, but I never told WHEN I would be searching.

So how do you decide if you should “snoop” or not? If you notice a change in your child’s behavior, unusual odors coming from their room (like cigarette smoke or pot – learn to recognize what pot smells like) or if they use incense or Lysol to try to cover up those odors (it doesn’t really cover them up), then you need to find out what is going on behind those closed doors.

A lot of parents don’t want to upset their child, so they often ignore the obvious. I didn’t care if my daughter got upset with me. In fact, from the ages of 14 to almost 17, she stayed mad at me. And rightly so…I put her in treatment twice...I put her on house arrest, and every time she got mad and stormed out of the house, I would call the local police to go pick her up and bring her home. Yes, it killed me every time I saw her in the backseat of that patrol car, but the point I’m trying to make is that, as parents, we have to do whatever it takes to protect our children. You can’t be their best friend. You have to be the parent.
WHERE TO LOOK
Teenagers are very clever when it comes to hiding the alcohol, drugs or drug/cutting paraphernalia. Make sure you check all hiding spots:

- Dresser drawers beneath clothing
- Desk drawers
- CD/DVD/Video cases
- Jewelry boxes
- Backpack, purses, duffle bags (check all pockets)
- Under the bed
- Look for slits in the mattress, especially the under side
- In a plant, buried in the dirt
- In between books on a bookshelf
- Inside books with pages cut out
- Makeup cases – fake lipstick tubes or compacts
- Inside over-the-counter medicine bottles (Tylenol, Aleve)
- Inside empty candy bags, such as M&M’s and Skittles
- Inside jacket pockets or pockets in clothes hanging in their closet
- Inside shoes or boots

These are tough times our teens are living in, and if you suspect your child is drinking, using drugs or cutting, snooping can save your child.

JUST REMEMBER: It’s your home and your child. You set the rules, and even though you want to respect their right to privacy, it should never be at the price of his/her health or safety.

If you find alcohol or drugs, ask your child about it. Don’t avoid the subject. He will argue with you, but stand your ground and ignore his argument. Again, remember, it’s your house. Your rules. Your tough love will hurt you more than it hurts your child, and believe me, your child will thank you one day for that tough love you showed.

(If you find pills you don’t recognize, take them to your local pharmacist, he will be glad to identify them and tell you the effects they can have if abused.)

For more information, please visit http://drugfree.org/