Sunday, January 25, 2009

A SINGLE LIFE


So how did I get to me a single mom of two? Well, that story is a little tricky to tell, because I was in a car accident in July 1990, suffered a severe head injury, was in a coma, and now my memory is really bad. I don't remember a lot of the day-to-day happenings BA (before accident), and I don't always remember much of the day-to-day happenings AA (after accident). But I'll try to make this story short (or it's all I can remember anyway).

I was married in 1982 at the age of 19 - yes, I know now that was way too young, but I can't have any regrets, because I have 2 beautiful daughters. Anyway, I married at 19, moved straight to Massachusetts from Mississippi (3 days after getting married, and I had never been away from home before and now I was 1,000's of miles away). Then we moved to Maryland then back to Mississippi - all in one year.

I got pregnant in 1987, but had a miscarriage. This was very traumatic, because we had been trying to get pregnant for quite awhile. I got pregnant again in 1989, had a beautiful daughter in January 1990, was in a bad car accident 6 months later, took 10 months to recover, got pregnant again 4 years later, but had another miscarriage, had a second beautiful daughter in January 1996. Then the husband turned 40, went insane, became down right mean and abusive, so in 1998, I decided enough was enough, and we separated (plus I found out he had someone else on the side).

So here I am today, 10 years later, a happy, single mom, with 2 happy, well adjusted...I hate to say the word...TEENAGERS!!! (I have actually been a single mom longer than I was a married mom.)

And not everything you read about children and single moms is true. Yes, some children do fall on hard times (mom uses drugs, gets into another abusive relationship, etc.), but most of these children grow up in a better environment than if the mom stayed married to the dad (like in my situation), and I do get offended sometimes when I hear the media and everyone else grouping all single moms together in one group and reporting that our children are worse off than children raised with two parents and will turn out bad. My girls are happy. Our home environment is definitely more peaceful. I have kept them close to God and the church...okay so the oldest one hated school, but thank goodness, she has finally graduated. She wants to be a youth minister/tattoo artist/ghost hunter...I know - what a combination. But, that's a whole different story.

3 comments:

Sara Huizenga Lubbers said...

Thank You so much for sharing this! It made me smile, which considering my current life situation at times, is a big deal! lol ;) I too am almost (next month) a single Mom of 2 little girls (3 and 7) who too has already experienced such a safer, happier home without living amidst abuse.

JadeLD said...

It sounds like you have everything sorted now and that you made the right descisions and you know it. Thanks for sharing with us.

Thanks for linking up to my comment-less post link up. Have a lovely day,
Jade

By Word of Mouth Musings said...

Thanks for linking up your first ever post - you will see there is always something going on over at my blog - hope you make lots of new friends with the various link ups - check back often ... but I will remind you by computermail (just warning you!)

and now your first evah post has another COMMENT!

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