Saturday, August 18, 2012

It's Okay NOT To Diet When...

I was looking through some old magazines, and I came across this cartoon in Family Circle, dated October 25, 1983.  Since we seem to always be on a diet (or at least a lot of us are), here are the times when it's okay NOT to diet. (Written by Joan M. Scobey)
  • You've been working really hard and you need the energy.
  • You've just received good new!
  • You jogged all the way to the mailbox.
  • There are only two cookies left in the box.
  • You just received bad news.
  • You're going to the dentist and may not be able to eat again for hours.
  • You can still squeeze into your bathing suit.
  • Your son/daughter just got his/her driver's license!
  • It's in your honor.
  • White truffles are in season.
  • You're sneezing.
  • You have a fever.
  • You haven't tried the ice cream of the month.
Well, my 16-year-old daughter just got her driver's license last week, so NO dieting for me this week!!

Also, as a mom, we experience stress.  I came across this Women's Stress Diet at my MIL's house.




Breakfast
1 Grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a 
cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Kisses in the bag
1 tub Hagen Daas Ice Cream with 
Chocolate Chip topping

Dinner
2 loaves of garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Night Snack
Whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake
(eaten directly from the freezer)

Diet Rules
  • If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.
  • When drinking a diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the diet Coke cancels out the sugar in the chocolate bar
  • When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
  • Food used for medical purposes does not count (e.g., hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake).
  • If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.
  • Movie theater related foods have zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.  This includes popcorn, Sno Caps, and ice cream.
  • Cookie pieces have no calories because breaking the cookies up causes calorie leakage.
  • Foods licked from spoons and forks have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.
  • Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass.
  • Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.







                   tipsforstressrelief.com













19 comments:

Amy Putkonen said...

Hi there,

Visiting from SITS! Yeah! I just say forget diets altogether. Learn to love what is good for you. That's all. Simple.

(NOTE: I don't always practice this, but it is very simple to do!) lol...

Susan Williams said...

Visting you from the SITS girls.
I relate: I start out well, but by the end of the day, my good intentions rarely last!

Kristiina said...

Haha! Very funny and so true.

Pricilla J. Designs said...

This is so funny! Diets are a waste of time and always end up making me feel like a failure. I say the focus should be on the nutritional value of the food. Okay i need some vitamin C...pass the oranges. But, even that gets to be too much sometimes. LOL

Carolina said...

LOL! LOL! Love it! Too funny! Can I add that eating standing up also cancels out the calories!!!
Carolina
sewcarolinaknits

Kim @ Coffee Pot Chronicles said...

Stopping by from SITS.

I avoid the word "diet" and have eliminated it from my weight loss vocabulary. When it comes to losing weight it's about a lifestyle change, not deprivation and starvation.

One cookie or one slice of cake isn't going to destroy your efforts. Losing weight should be about getting healthy and knowing you can still live life and occasionally eat something unhealthy without the guilt.

I've tried in the past to lose weight on so many "diets" and failed. Big time. Now, I focus on lifestyle changes and I feel better. I'm currently down 40 pounds and still going, albeit slowly.

Now uh, pass me those cookies would ya? Haha.

Making Our Life Matter said...

I never have any luck when I am on a diet. I find it so frustrating, and just setting myself up for failure. My biggest problem is portion control!

Stopping in to visit you from Voiceboks!

mail4rosey said...

Hah! This is great. My fave is 'two cookies left in the pack,' totally relating. ;)

Pepper Tan said...

This just made my day. You're so funny! Oh, now you've got me craving for cheesecake and Hershey's Kisses (a whole bag!).

Instead of going on a diet, I just exercise. I'd never want to deprive myself of all the yummy stuff. That's the essence of life :)

ReviewsSheROTE Pamela R said...

LOL if noone see you it doesn't count---I'd be a twig, because most of my bad snacking habits happen when I'm home alone watching TV =}

CrazyNutsMom said...

Good suggestions for meals!

I think dieting will fail in some aspects as you have to make it a lifestyle. Calling it a diet makes it temporary.

Making it a lifestyle change, makes it more permanent. You will fail and you will make mistakes, but you just get back on the healthy train.

Courtney G said...

So funny...loved this! I wish they were all true;) I'm on slim fast this week...fun!;(

Gina said...

ha, ha. My grandma says if you share things, then there are no calories! I am still trying to decide if I believe her... :)

valerie said...

This is a wonderful diet plan. I should try it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Sharon Ruggieri said...

Da-a-a-a-ang times sure have changed! That was hysterical!

Carla Karam said...

Laura... I LOVE this post!!! Great diet and tips! Thanks for sharing. Grace, peace and blessings, Carla

Flawed Mommy said...

Love your diet tips! I think I'll dump my current diet plan and just follow yours! It sure seems more fun!!! :)

Army of Moms said...

This is HYSTERICAL!

Lisa said...

This made my day! I needed a good laugh and I think I'm heading to the vending machine! :)

Related Posts with Thumbnails