Tuesday, January 27, 2009

God, Prayers & Miracles - Part 2

So I was involved in a car accident in July 1990. It took 10 months to recover. I was unable to walk for 2 or 3 months and had double vision for 2 months, so I was basically a convalescent for 3 months, and I had a lot of time to think..."why did I survive this accident when doctors said I should have died?"

I heard almost everyday how lucky I was, but I wondered if luck had anything to do with it. Then there were those who said, "it must not have been your time yet", but I wondered if it had really been my time and all the prayers changed that...I was confused. I also had 2 really good friends killed in a (separate) car accident. I felt guilty that I was alive and couldn't stop wondering why did they die, and I didn't when doctors said I should have. Why? (I became obsessed with trying to figure out why.)

So I started thinking back over my life...well, my married life. (I had been married 8 years at the time of the accident.) I knew when I got married that he wasn't a Christian, but he wasn't a bad guy, although he did have an odd way of thinking about how life should be and what he thought God should do for him, but that's a different story.

We dated a year and a half, and he did come to church, but only to see me since I could only date once a week. But I really thought that once we were married, I could change him and get him into church. But instead of me bringing him closer to God, he pulled me away. Now I didn't change my beliefs or the way I acted, I just started sleeping in on Sundays, stopped reading my Bible and didn't really pray much. I became one of those lukewarm Christians. I did feel guilty about not going to church, but come Monday morning, I didn't give it a second thought.

So when Hollie was born, I told him I wanted to start going to church, but with late night feedings and everyday baby stuff, we never went. Then 6 months later, I had my accident and that's when I started all this thinking about "why?"

I guess I will never really know why these things happened, but I started to think God was trying to get my attention. Well, God definitely got my attention.

He still wouldn't go to church, but instead of sleeping in on Sundays, me and Hollie started to go to church by ourselves. And over time, I have come closer to God again.

(To see how everything turned out, read my blog "A Single Life")


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